I choose McCain BECAUSE HE WON'T RAISE MY TAXES!

Dear Fat-asses (in particular white, so-called Christians from "red counties"),

You are right, I have suddenly realized. McCain's promise not to raise taxes is truly the winning proposition in this presidential race.

Taxes are bad, right? Government takes taxes from hard-working people and misuses this money to pay for things like illegal invasions of sovereign nations; they use this money to off-set the losses in government coffers thanks to massive tax-cuts for multi-billionaires; they use this money to politicize policy-processes and governing, so rather than resolving problems caused by disasters like Katrina, high-paid Party-wonks with extensive experience in Arabian horses (see Mikey Brown) sit by and watch while a whole city sinks into the mud (but, Cheney and Bush were rest assured that he "was on our side of the political picture").

Misused taxes are spent hiding the effects of science. Teams of people were employed to alter and white-out (white out costs add up quickly) any mentions of global warming and its link to rising part of CO2 in the air. Misused taxes are spent paying companies whose responsibility is to a) rebuild Iraq; b) ensure the safety and overall welfare of our troops in harm's way: but, as time would show, these companies would spend the money on high-priced things not really needed for the troops welfare--why do we need more tanks in fighting the Iraqi insurgency? Wouldn't body armor be better? Why? Higher margins on the big stuff, fewer logitisical costs in dispersing these items.

So, with lowers taxes, we won't need to worry about the inherent evil of government screwing us over, right? We won't have to worry that the next administration will spend the money inappropriately. With fewer taxes, we won't have to worry about the lack of federal money going for the upkeep of roads, bridges; securing ports, boarders, airports, tunnels; we won't need to worry the non-existent effects of global warming and the ever more intense hurricanes and the destruction wrought by these non-existent effects. No, lower taxes will free us from all of these things.

And, then, you, Mrs. Fat-ass, with your 3 sons (one who is on his 3rd tour in Iraq) and one daughter (who may or may not be a meth-addict and pregnant), with the money you have saved on your annual income of $34,000 as a result of the the taxes that Obama couldn't raise because we chose McCain (under Obama you would have paid a total of new taxes--$0.00), you can invest money with your neigbors and rebuild that bridge which collapsed last week killing 4 people during rush-hour; you can also help pay for the removal of trash from the landfill which has filled up quicker than anyone thought just outside of town.

Oh, and when that tornado rips the roof of your trailer? Don't expect FEMA to do anything because a) they will have no money left as they have been stripped to the bone by McCain because, guess what, there is no money to pay for their response-team; and b) the FEMA people will be in Milan at Fashion Week, anyway (the price we pay to be fashionable!). But, should the beaches erode along the coast of South Carolina or NJ and the sea start to threaten the well-being of some homes of really rich people, then guess what, Fatso? Suddenly, out from behind the cuppard, up over Uncle John's workbench in the garage, they'll pull out a few billion and fix up them beaches so that the property value of them there homes will be protected--your trailer, though, is already in Oz but instead of falling on the witch, it fell on your pregnant, methed-out daughter ("The Lord do work in strange ways, but my poor Jenny was a lost soul and so now she is gone and so be it.")

Well, I do believe that lower taxes are good, right? Especially, given that I am a multi-millionaire and I have the wealth and the military strength of the US government protecting my interest, business and personal, all over the world, 24-7. Gee, it's nice have "less government"' because, when there is LESS GOVERNMENT FOR YOU POOR, GOD-FEARING WORKING SAPS, TEHRE IS MORE GOVERNMENT FOR ME AND MY FELLOW MILLIONAIRES.

U-S-A, U-S-A!! DRILL, BABY, DRILL!!