The First Frappuccino-American President

Dear White Big Asses (and fatbacks)!

Last night for Halloween, I was Barak Obama the day after the election: he had won and so was in pjs relaxing around the "house."

As I prepared to transform myself from a whitey to a near-blackie, it suddenly dawned on my that Barak is not black. Barak truly is an AFRICAN-AMERICAN! Really, he is not even an African-American but a Kenyan-American! To take it even further, he is actually from the Luo ethnic group--in Kenya, one is not "Kenyan"; you are either of one "tribe" or another. The Luo's are hated in Kenya and a running joke there says that a Luoan has a better chance of becoming President of the US than he does have of becoming President of Kenya!! (Those crazy Kenyans! ))

So, Jessie Jackson, African-American? Come on!? He is as African as I am Irish-German-French or whatever other mongrel, European blood is pulsing through my viens! Come on, this whole pile of crap that has been forced fed to us since the birth of PC-ism back in the mid-sixties about "black" American being actually "African-Americans" has to stop now that we actually do have a president who is half African! The "blacks"in America are so far removed from African and they have been so mixed into the big melting pot that really, they are simply BLACK AMERICANS!

What my fellow whiteys and my non-fellow pc-ers (I would actually have a bbq chicken with a FatAss Christian than with a Columbia or Berkeley educated pc punk) are really wanting to say is that "African" means black. But, "African-American" black is not really black but a HUE OF BLACK. Just like most blacks are not true black, no whites are really white--we are actually more colored than the so-called "coloreds".

Let's pull the curtain back on the wizard and put an end to these adjective of origin. Barak Obama is not black. He is of African origins but really of Luon origins--so, the first Luon-American president. That is confusing, so, let's take it back to the realm of color with which we Americans seem to be so obsessed.

Colors are so varied and fun, why limit ourselves to the prism or the standard rainbow--Frappuccino is one of the hottest drinks in America, so let's use this word to describe our soon-to-be-new President, if you hold up a Frappuccino next to a picture of Obama you will see, he really does look like a Starbuck's Frappuccino!

Barak Obama, the first Frappuccino-American President!